Manufacturer’s sticker on new 2011 model Suicide Pod:
EPA Performance Standards
city: 2,888 mpg
highway: No way, Jose
Standard Features
one-speed transmission with Fred Flintstone foot-propelled overdrive
Matchbox Car wheels
two-anorexic-person seating
Options
Glove compartment next-of-kin card holder
GPS location transmitter so rescue crews know where to bring spatula if you venture onto highway
Deluxe St. Christopher statue on dashboard
Emergency kit with placards: “Send Help,” “Send Spatula,” and “Too Late, Never Mind”
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