This Week’s Unadoptable Pet: Brutus

Brutus, a three-year old gorilla, was rescued from a puppy mill and is looking for a forever home with fellow hominids. When he's not in his 20-by-20-foot cage, this 800-pound guy sits – you guessed it – wherever he wants.

Brutus rides well in the car (on the roof) and knows the commands “come,” “stay,” “sit,” and “put down the toddler.” He likes bananas, uses American Sign Language, and prefers a Sleep Number bed with a firmness setting of 75.

Brutus will return your love with great loyalty and affection. He will wash your car, change the oil and check the tire air pressure. He also makes a great babysitter for children strong enough to bench press 200 pounds.