Art Heist Prompts No-Dress Code

Patron, not realizing paintings are missing, attempts to discern exhibit's "meaning."

(Paris) – Following one of the world’s biggest art heists, French authorities instituted a crackdown on clothing worn by patrons at the Paris Museum of Modern Art.

The priceless paintings were probably smuggled out beneath a museum-goer’s trenchcoat, officials said. As a result, all future visitors will be required to tour the museum in the nude.

Dozens of French unions immediately pledged to staff security checkpoints where incoming tourists will be frisked. Volunteers include Parisian transportation workers, garbage collectors and parking checkers, all of whom have been on strike since 1965.

The stolen works include “Still Life with Gerbil” by Henri Matisse, “Lint on Candy Raisins” by Amedeo Modigliani, and Pablo Picasso’s “Really Ugly Cubist Thing That Looks Like an Orangutan on Acid.”