(Bentonville, Ark. and Vatican City, Rome) Determined to outdo “cents off at the gas pump” promotions hosted recently by regional supermarkets, Wal-Mart Stores Inc. and the Vatican have jointly announced the Purgatory Perks program.
Various products throughout each Wal-Mart store are identified with the PP symbol and the amount to be earned. For instance:
- Ritz crackers, 36-oz. box: 3 days
- Bounty jumbo paper towels, 8-pack: 1 week
- John Deere riding mower: 45 years
Customers who buy qualifying products simply present their PP card to be scanned at checkout. Points accumulate throughout one’s lifetime. Upon death (a.k.a. the “final checkout”), a participant’s accumulated total is applied immediately, reducing the time to be spent in purgatory.
"We anticipate our customers will appreciate the great savings as Wal-Mart seeks to expand its value parameters into the hereafter,” said Wal-Mart President and CEO Mike Duke. Pope Benedict XVI added, “Dominus deus ex precipio mundum est, in nomine Wal-Mart.”
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