This week on The Tudors

This week on the penultimate* episode of Showtime’s “The Tudors”:

Henry’s old age becomes evident in a rasping Al Pacino voice acquired overnight. As head of the Church of England, he establishes the Sacrament of Sitting in a Recliner.

The Earl of Sussex stands trial for unauthorized use of the royal platypus in his family crest, as well as for having the word “sex” in his surname. He nearly escapes prison by sliding down the crapper but is apprehended and taken to a maximum-security toilet-less cell.

Five minutes after a Protestant female preacher is burned at the stake for heresy, Queen Katherine arouses Henry’s suspicion by inviting reformer Martin Luther to high tea at the palace.

*Penultimate: Latin for “thank goodness it’s wheezing to an end”