You’re not getting older, you’re getting noisier

In your 50s, when you pick up something that has fallen to the floor, you grunt when you straighten up.

In your 60s, when picking something off the floor, you grunt when you bend down and when you straighten up.

In your 70s, you grunt when you merely think about picking up something from the floor.

In your 80s, when something falls on the floor, it stays there.